It has been a while, and though I had other writing plans, I did not think I could go forward with them in light of the events just passed. I felt a duty to acknowledge, and a desire to not remain silent.
That day I woke up late. Blissful stretching and slow wakefulness. No classes today.
I had studied late into the morning hours, and the time was 4pm on a Friday.
I do my usual routine: check my messages on the phone, then check the news.
I wonder if I am reading this right: 40 people dead in Christchurch? A shooting in New Zealand, my dearest home?
My mind loops on the fact of forty people (as it was only known at that time). That’s so many people. So many lives. One too many. I imagine forty bodies lined up and I can’t help but cry for them. So many.
The world is filled with diversity so we can learn to be human. According to Jung, God needed to make himself human through Jesus so he could then reflect and understand humanity through being human. In a similar way, I think constrained as we are by our subjectivities, by our limited faculties and physical boundaries –the only thing (and I think Kant recognised this too, the contingency of our being and the need to aid others) that allows us to transcend ourselves is our experience from and with others.
We learn worlds from others. Worlds of love, of kindness, of hospitality, and of being human in our world…and too, worlds of darkness, pain, hate….but that is the corollary to the only thing that can ever lift us up, to become more, to become better; to flourish. There is no other way. You can’t but take the light without the dark (which is the witness of light!), or the only thing left for us becomes stumbling through darkness alone.
I want to say goodbye, rest in power to those who lost their lives so unfairly and viciously through hate and bigotry. Those who had to experience the terror, those who are fighting for their lives in hospital. I give them all my love. I stand by my Muslim family on this earth. You showed me community. You gave me welcome over coffee in the afternoon. We are one in grief. You have my heart. I will never let hate conquer love, nor let the fire of humanity be dimmed. There is never anything proud in hate; only love.